Release of "O" results.
❤
Though I'd prepared for this day to arrive,
I felt scared but yet excited at the same time.
Excited for how well will I score after putting in so
much effort.
& yet,
scared for how badly will I score.
I was tossing in my bed yesterday,
couldn't sleep !
I was all tense up.
I think I finally dosed off @ about 2+AM.
Really had difficulties sleeping. T-T
❤
No matter what results I'm gonna get,
I'm definitely going shopping !
Cos that's the only way that made me feel better.
In some way.
Hack care whether it's gonna be good or bad.
I almost cried yesterday cos I can't sleep.
& I'd a dream that I got 20 over points !
Fuck !
I truly hope that this bad dream won't come true.
Pray to all Gods.
❤
Mama's friends are all full of concerns.
Cos that time I told Mama,
if I'm gonna do badly.....
& I went silent.
Mama knew that in my mind,
I'm thinking of committing suicide.
Mama was anxious.
Ending up almost everyone around us knew it.
I'd received tons of messages,
telling me not to be silly.
I've received one from Da Yee this morning.
Don't worry.
That's just a sudden urge.
That thought just rushes up my mind.
I know that I'm gonna have a bright future ahead.
& so is anyone of you ! ❤
❤
Few more hours to releasing of results....
No appetite.
No mood.
Maybe today would be all gloomy.
What am I gonna do if I really have done badly.
I couldn't get into my ideal course,
I'll not be able to make Mama proud,
I'll be feeling that "BOO" inside me.
Making me a loser.
I really hate that feel inside me right now.
It's not good.
I don't want my effort to be wasted down the drain....
I spent lots of effort especially on Mathe.
I can't afford to fail.
I WANT MAMA TO BE ABLE TO GO ROUND SAYIN,
MY DAUGHTER GOT BELOW 20 POINTS FOR "O"!
I really hope for that.
Just by thinking of this scenario,
my vision became blurred.
Sad feelings is all vented out into my tears.
I wanna cry away those sad feelings.
❤
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